Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
