Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
