Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
