I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
