Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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