After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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