i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
