He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
