Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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