some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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