his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize