Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
