There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
