I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
