Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
