Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
