We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
