dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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