so that wasnt chicken after all
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
