So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
