You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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