im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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