i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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