Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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