I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
