Sponge bath it is.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
