the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
