I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
