Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
