i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
as a side note pls kill me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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