Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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