Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
