Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize