Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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