i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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