He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
