my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
