gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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