I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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