He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
