I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Randomize
