Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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