Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
