I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
