I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize