How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
