fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize