the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Randomize