I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
