i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
