Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
