I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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