"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
