I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
