Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
