If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I have demons in me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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