i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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