she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize