upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
