Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
